shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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