What did we do last night that was yellow?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
