I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
