living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
