Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
