I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize