Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
