can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
