You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
