my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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