Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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