At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
