D3 body, D1 cock
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
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