You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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