I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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