Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
