Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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