your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
