Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
