Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
