i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize