i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I need a burrito and a hug.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
