is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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