And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
