I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
