there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
