they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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