I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
