i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
