You can't special order awesome
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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