Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she looked like the before picture.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
