hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
