brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Please don't give away my fajitas
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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