So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize