And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
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Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
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Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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