Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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