if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
