Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Boobs are out for the taking
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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