Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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