dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
