Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
