he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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