Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
