is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
