The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
