you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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