Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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