Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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