just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
