im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize