We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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