I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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