he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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