never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
