Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
