You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Shame - the story of my life.
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