i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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