Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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