just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize