Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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