We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
