I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
