you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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