you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
