we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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