The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
