Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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