oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Shame - the story of my life.
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