after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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