i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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