Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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