I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Ketchup is God's man juice
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
