like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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