She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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